1: lack of feeling or emotion : impassiveness
2: lack of interest or concern : indifference
Origin of APATHY
Greek apatheia, from apathēs without feeling, from a- + pathos emotion — more at pathos
First Known Use: 1594
Related to APATHY
Synonyms: affectlessness, emotionlessness, impassiveness, impassivity, insensibility, numbness, phlegm
Antonyms: emotion, feeling, sensibility
The funny thing about Apathy, is that it's so often paired with all of its opposites. At least in my life. I find that when I'm the most apathetic towards my environment and my friends I'm also the most sensitive and emotional. These past few months have been really hard for me. Don't get me wrong, in the grand scheme of things I recognize that I am blessed beyond reason, but sometimes things are just hard. Unfortunately, I let this get the best of me, and instead of becoming angry or rebellious, I just became apathetic. Did I let God disappear from my life or completely shut out everything? No. Not even close. I did a lot of growing and a lot of learning in this time, both about myself and about our Amazing God. But I still faced much around me with apathy. Not just the big things like taking care of myself and my job performance, but also the small things like cleaning and sleeping well.
This past week I went on a cruise with my family and my best friend. Which, of course, was awesome. It had it's draw backs, I was worrying about some problems happening back at my house and I couldn't contact anyone back home or use the internet. It also meant a LOT of time with my parents when I didn't always want it. ;] But for reasons beyond just the awesomeness of cruising to the Caribbean and the frustrations of missing someone... It has had some major ramifications in my everyday life.
This apathy feels like some ice cocoon I've been living in, numbing me to everything around me. And today it's beginning to feel as if that ice cocoon is thawing. I'm starting to feel like ME again. It's pretty amazing. Now, I've had some major life-changing decisions happen in the last couple of days... And these may be partially to blame for this change. But I think taking a week off from work and really getting away from my everyday rut have really been the reason. I think I needed that time to be with my best friend and talk about where we were in our lives and our relationships with God. Time to just relax and lay across a bed. To just have fun and not worry.
So I'm committed:
To getting my body to a goal.
To taking care of my things and my environment.
To increasing my job performance.
To doing something for me everyday.
To being the best version of me I can be.
To keeping my finances stable.
To planning for the future.
To him. <3
And most importantly...
To working every single day on my walk with God.
I hope I can also be committed to writing things down on here frequently. Not because anyone out there depends on me to write this, but because anyone out there can read what I say... and the more vocal I am the more I have to be responsible for doing what I say.
Time to go get some organizing done and write some post-its for my desk. :] Have a wonderful 1-11-11 today!
